GUARDRAILS | WEEK 3
GUARDRAILS: FOREVER YOURS
INTRODUCTION
Guardrails keep vehicles from straying into dangerous or off-limit areas. We need personal guardrails so we don’t stray into areas of life that can harm us or the people we love. If there’s one area in which personal guardrails are most needed but also most resisted, it’s in our relationships.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
In what ways, for good or bad, did your friends influence you growing up?
Who do you know whose life would have been better if he or she had had relational guardrails?
Read 1 Corinthians 6:18–20
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
What do you think it looks like to honor God with our bodies?
How might putting that into practice affect your relationships with other people?
During the message, Pastor called sexual sin “uniquely damaging” because we can never fully escape the damage it does.
Do you agree that it can make you a liar and secret-keeper for life? Why or why not?
Is it difficult for you to believe that you are a sacred image bearer of God?
Why or why not? If you were to embrace that truth, how would it influence the decisions you make going forward?
Do you need to begin to flee from instead of flirt with sexual immorality?
What are some specific guardrails you need to establish?
Share them with your group if you’re comfortable doing so. What can your group do to support you?
MOVING FORWARD
The point of a guardrail is to light up your conscience before you hurt yourself or others. If that sounds extreme, dangerous environments call for extreme measures. When it comes to your relationships, honor God, yourself, your spouse, your kids, and your future spouse and kids. Flee; don’t flirt.
GUARDRAILS | WEEK 2
GUARDRAILS: PROXIMITY
INTRODUCTION
Have you ever met someone that later you wish you’d never met?
Is there a person that you wish someone in your family had never met?
Sometimes, people are our greatest regrets because they influence us to ignore our guardrails and step into the danger zone.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Friends influence the direction and quality of your life.
Who is someone in your life that has stood by you in good times and bad?
Talk about a time when you saw someone suffer because of his or her relationships. What happened?
Read Proverbs 13:20.
Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.
Who is a person in your life whose wisdom you rely on?
In what ways have you seen his/her wisdom influence you over time?
Is there someone that looks to you for wisdom?
How does that impact the way that you attempt to influence them in positive ways?
During the message Pastor said,
“Judgmental is when I draw a harsh conclusion about you.
Good judgment is when I draw conclusions about myself based on wisdom.”
To what extent has not wanting to be judgmental drawn you into unhealthy relationships in the past?
How do the message definitions of judgmental and good judgment change your perspective?
During the message, Pastor said, “Friends can be dangerous. And danger requires guardrails.
You need to establish a standard that informs your conscience.”
In what area of your life do you need to establish a standard?
What first step could you take to establish that standard?
Do you have a relationship that could benefit from guardrails?
What can you do to begin to establish guardrails?
What obstacles will you have to overcome?
How can this group support you?
MOVING FORWARD
Friends influence the direction and quality of your life.
Is your core group moving in the direction you want your life to move?
Can you be yourself with that core group, or do you have to pretend you are someone you’re not?
Do you often feel pressure to compromise?
If so, it’s time to establish some relational guardrails.
What does that look like?
CHANGING YOUR MIND
Are there some relationships you might need to walk away from?
How can we pray for you in that?
Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. Proverbs 13:20
GUARDRAILS | Week 1
Week 1: DIRECT AND PROTECT
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
INTRODUCTION
Guardrails are designed to keep vehicles from straying into dangerous or off-limit areas.
They minimize damage by keeping us in the safety zone. But the highway isn’t the only place we need guardrails.
When was a time that your greatest regrets would have been avoided if you had established personal guardrails?
In the message, the Pastor listed four areas where guardrails may be helpful: finances, relationships, morality, and profession.
What is a guardrail you have established in one or more of these areas that has helped you the most?
What was your initial reaction to what the message referred to as the “Billy Graham Rule”?
Do you think it’s a good idea?
Is it too extreme?
Do you think it can penalize women in the workplace?
When we establish guardrails and safety zones, the culture can be confusing and often critical.
We can be accused of being judgmental when we are actually trying to have good judgement.
According to the message, what is the difference between being judgmental and having good judgment?
Being judgmental is me half-forming an opinion about you and your behavior.
Good judgment is about you, and I drawing conclusions from our own lives, considering my past experience, and knowing our own danger areas.
Read Ephesians 5:15–16.
15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise,
How does living carefully make us wise?
16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.
Opportunity is defined as a set of circumstances that make it possible to do something.
What does it mean to “make the most of every opportunity” and why are the days evil?
Read Ephesians 5:17–18
17 Therefore do not be foolish but understand what the Lord’s will is.
Do you think that we can overcomplicate and over-spiritualize what God’s will really is for us?
How can guardrails keep us moving forward in God’s will?
18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit,
Have you, or ever known anyone who has made their best decision when they were drunk?
MOVING FORWARD
Stepping away from what has the potential to harm you is stepping in the direction of the One who loves you.
God isn’t trying to keep you away from something; he is drawing you toward someone—himself.
INVITATION TO BELIEVE
EASTER: INVITATION TO BELIEVE
INTRODUCTION
Following Jesus’ crucifixion, his followers expected what anyone expects after someone dies—that the person would remain that way. But one of Jesus’ followers, John, gave an eyewitness account that summarized the main event surrounding Christianity: Jesus rose from the dead. In this seventh and final sign that John documents, he makes the case that Jesus is exactly who he claimed to be.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Growing up, what was Easter like for you?
When was the last time you were surprised by something that was completely unexpected?
The four Gospels focus on the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.
When you think of Jesus, which of those three words most comes to mind?
Read John 19:16–42, where the apostle John recounts the crucifixion of Jesus.
16 Finally Pilate handed him over to them to be crucified.
So the soldiers took charge of Jesus. 17 Carrying his own cross, he went out to the place of the Skull (which in Aramaic is called Golgotha). 18 There they crucified him, and with him two others—one on each side and Jesus in the middle.
19 Pilate had a notice prepared and fastened to the cross. It read: jesus of nazareth, the king of the jews. 20 Many of the Jews read this sign, for the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city, and the sign was written in Aramaic, Latin and Greek. 21 The chief priests of the Jews protested to Pilate, “Do not write ‘The King of the Jews,’ but that this man claimed to be king of the Jews.”
22 Pilate answered, “What I have written, I have written.”
23 When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with the undergarment remaining. This garment was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom.
24 “Let’s not tear it,” they said to one another. “Let’s decide by lot who will get it.”
This happened that the scripture might be fulfilled that said,
“They divided my clothes among them
and cast lots for my garment.”[a]
So this is what the soldiers did.
25 Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman,[b] here is your son,” 27 and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.
28 Later, knowing that everything had now been finished, and so that Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I am thirsty.” 29 A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus’ lips. 30 When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.
31 Now it was the day of Preparation, and the next day was to be a special Sabbath. Because the Jewish leaders did not want the bodies left on the crosses during the Sabbath, they asked Pilate to have the legs broken and the bodies taken down. 32 The soldiers therefore came and broke the legs of the first man who had been crucified with Jesus, and then those of the other. 33 But when they came to Jesus and found that he was already dead, they did not break his legs. 34 Instead, one of the soldiers pierced Jesus’ side with a spear, bringing a sudden flow of blood and water. 35 The man who saw it has given testimony, and his testimony is true. He knows that he tells the truth, and he testifies so that you also may believe. 36 These things happened so that the scripture would be fulfilled: “Not one of his bones will be broken,”[c] 37 and, as another scripture says, “They will look on the one they have pierced.”[d]
38 Later, Joseph of Arimathea asked Pilate for the body of Jesus. Now Joseph was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly because he feared the Jewish leaders. With Pilate’s permission, he came and took the body away. 39 He was accompanied by Nicodemus, the man who earlier had visited Jesus at night. Nicodemus brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds.[e] 40 Taking Jesus’ body, the two of them wrapped it, with the spices, in strips of linen. This was in accordance with Jewish burial customs. 41 At the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had ever been laid. 42 Because it was the Jewish day of Preparation and since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there.
What are some details about this story that would lead a reader to believe this actually happened?
What stands out to you about this passage?
What emotions must the disciples have been feeling?
Read John 20:1–8,
Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. 2 So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”
3 So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. 4 Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. 5 He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. 6 Then Simon Peter came along behind him and went straight into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, 7 as well as the cloth that had been wrapped around Jesus’ head. The cloth was still lying in its place, separate from the linen. 8 Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed.
Read John 20:24–28, where the apostle John recounts the resurrection of Jesus.
24 Now Thomas (also known as Didymus[a]), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. 25 So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”
But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”
26 A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” 27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”
28 Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”
What are some details about this story that would lead a reader to believe this actually happened?
What stands out to you about these passages?
Who can you relate to most from these passages: Peter, John, or
Thomas? What makes you say that?
Read John 20:29.
29 Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
While many eyewitnesses believed in Jesus because of what they saw firsthand, why do you think Jesus called people—such as us— who were not eyewitnesses to the resurrection “blessed”?
CHANGING YOUR MIND
John 20:30–31
Jesus performed many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.
BYSTANDER | WEEK 6
Week 6: COEXISTENCE
INTRODUCTION
At different points in our lives, many of us wonder why a good God would allow bad things to happen. And without a clear response, that dilemma could cause us to question God’s existence altogether. The Gospel writer John documented an occasion where Jesus not only brought his friend Lazarus back to life but also demonstrated how God can exist in the midst of a world of evil and suffering.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
What’s a notable real or fictional story that appeared to be heading in a bad direction but ended up turning out well?
Read John 11:17–45, where the apostle John recounts the story of Jesus raising his friend Lazarus from the dead.
17 On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. 18 Now Bethany was less than two miles[a] from Jerusalem, 19 and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. 20 When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.
21 “Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”
23 Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”
24 Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”
25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; 26 and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
27 “Yes, Lord,” she replied, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”
28 After she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.” 29 When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. 30 Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. 31 When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there.
32 When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34 “Where have you laid him?” he asked.
“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.
35 Jesus wept.
36 Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”
37 But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”
38 Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. 39 “Take away the stone,” he said.
“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”
40 Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”
41 So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42 I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”
43 When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” 44 The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.
Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”
45 Therefore many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary, and had seen what Jesus did, believed in him.
What are some details about this story that would lead a reader to believe this actually happened?
In verse 35, Jesus showed emotion about this situation. What does the fact that Jesus wept—even knowing Lazarus was about to be raised—say about him?
Read verse 43. Imagine for a moment what onlookers would have been thinking after hearing Jesus say this. What words come to mind to describe this scene?
What’s your biggest takeaway from this story? What is something that sticks out to you about God when reading this?
2. In what ways does the story of Lazarus parallel the story of God’s relationship with people?
3. In your mind, how does the story of Lazarus address the question, “Why would a good God allow bad things to happen?”
4. Do you have a personal example of when something that was tragic helped strengthen your faith? If so, explain.
Read John 11:4, where Jesus claims that Lazarus died so God may be glorified.
When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.”
What about the story of Lazarus can inspire you to have a better perspective in the midst of difficult circumstances?
CHANGING YOUR MIND
God not only exists in the midst of a world that has evil and suffering—he chose to engage with it. God didn’t eliminate the evil; he placed it on Jesus so we would not perish but have eternal life.
BYSTANDER | WEEK 5
Week 5: OPEN EYES
INTRODUCTION
There are many products we buy, use, and put our confidence in without having all the information or fully understanding how they work. In the Gospel of John, we see a man begin to follow Jesus based on limited information. This man, who was born blind, said he only knew one main thing—and that one thing was enough to make him curious about who Jesus really was.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
What are some things people put full trust in without having all the information?
Give some examples of proof people would like to have before believing in God.
Read John 9:1–20, where the apostle John recounts the story of Jesus healing a man born blind.
As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2 His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”
3 “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. 4 As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. 5 While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”
6 After saying this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes. 7 “Go,” he told him, “wash in the Pool of Siloam” (this word means “Sent”). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.
8 His neighbors and those who had formerly seen him begging asked, “Isn’t this the same man who used to sit and beg?” 9 Some claimed that he was.
Others said, “No, he only looks like him.”
But he himself insisted, “I am the man.”
10 “How then were your eyes opened?” they asked.
11 He replied, “The man they call Jesus made some mud and put it on my eyes. He told me to go to Siloam and wash. So I went and washed, and then I could see.”
12 “Where is this man?” they asked him.
“I don’t know,” he said.
13 They brought to the Pharisees the man who had been blind. 14 Now the day on which Jesus had made the mud and opened the man’s eyes was a Sabbath. 15 Therefore the Pharisees also asked him how he had received his sight. “He put mud on my eyes,” the man replied, “and I washed, and now I see.”
16 Some of the Pharisees said, “This man is not from God, for he does not keep the Sabbath.”
But others asked, “How can a sinner perform such signs?” So they were divided.
17 Then they turned again to the blind man, “What have you to say about him? It was your eyes he opened.”
The man replied, “He is a prophet.”
18 They still did not believe that he had been blind and had received his sight until they sent for the man’s parents. 19 “Is this your son?” they asked. “Is this the one you say was born blind? How is it that now he can see?”
20 “We know he is our son,” the parents answered, “and we know he was born blind.
What are some details about this story that would lead a reader to believe this actually happened?
In verse 2, there was an assumption that sin and suffering were connected. Were you raised to believe that?
In verse 3, Jesus said purpose can be found in the lifelong suffering of the blind man. How does it resonate with you that suffering might have a purpose?
Similar to the sign from John 5, Jesus seems to violate the Sabbath tradition held by the Pharisees. Why does John continue to mention this?
Read John 9:24–25, where the formerly blind man focuses on the main thing—he could now see!
24 A second time they summoned the man who had been blind. “Give glory to God by telling the truth,” they said. “We know this man is a sinner.”
25 He replied, “Whether he is a sinner or not, I don’t know. One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see!”
How does what the man said remind you of something that happened in your own life?
3. Think of a season of your life that was difficult through no fault of your own. You may be in one currently.
Is there something about that season God used (or could use) to shape your faith? If so, what?
4. If you became a follower of Jesus as an adult, is there one pivotal circumstance that caused you to turn the corner? If so, what was it?
5. In which of these aspects of your faith journey would you like your “eyes opened” more?
Explain.
Hope • Joy • Love • Forgiveness • Contentment • Peace • Understanding • Patience
CHANGING YOUR MIND
It’s okay to be wrong. It’s okay not to know. But it’s not okay not to look if there’s something to be seen.
BYSTANDER | WEEK 4
Week 4: LUNCH AND LEARN
INTRODUCTION
Perhaps one of the most famous signs Jesus performed was feeding 5,000+ people with five loaves of bread and two fish.
Those who followed Jesus thought he was finally getting to the point of what he could do for them.
They were more enamored with the signs than with what the signs were pointing to.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Have you ever returned from a trip and not brought a gift for someone who expected one? Have you ever expected a gift from someone’s travels and not received one?
How would you define an “authentic” relationship?
Have you been in a relationship where you or the other person had an agenda? How did that go?
Read John 6:1–14, where the apostle John recounts the story of Jesus feeding 5,000+ people.
Some time after this, Jesus crossed to the far shore of the Sea of Galilee (that is, the Sea of Tiberias), 2 and a great crowd of people followed him because they saw the signs he had performed by healing the sick. 3 Then Jesus went up on a mountainside and sat down with his disciples. 4 The Jewish Passover Festival was near.
5 When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward him, he said to Philip, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?” 6 He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do.
7 Philip answered him, “It would take more than half a year’s wages[a] to buy enough bread for each one to have a bite!”
8 Another of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, spoke up, 9 “Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?”
10 Jesus said, “Have the people sit down.” There was plenty of grass in that place, and they sat down (about five thousand men were there). 11 Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish.
12 When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, “Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.” 13 So they gathered them and filled twelve baskets with the pieces of the five barley loaves left over by those who had eaten.
14 After the people saw the sign Jesus performed, they began to say, “Surely this is the Prophet who is to come into the world.”
What are some details about this story that would lead a reader to believe this actually happened?
What do you think it felt like for the disciples to have thousands of people approaching because they wanted something from them?
In verse 13, John provides a detail about the amount of bread left over. Why do you think he included this?
Read John 6:25–27
Describe how the disciples and the crowd may have felt being called out by Jesus.
25 When they found him on the other side of the lake, they asked him, “Rabbi, when did you get here?”
26 Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw the signs I performed but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. 27 Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.”
4. What is one thing you have asked God to give you that he didn’t or hasn’t yet? Has this disappointment led you to take steps toward God or away from him? What thoughts and/or feelings led you in that direction?
5. What can you do this week to follow Jesus more closely? How can you demonstrate more love for one another? Is there someone in particular to whom you could offer more grace and forgiveness? How can this group encourage you?
CHANGING YOUR MIND
Let’s not be consumers. Let’s be followers. Jesus’ followers changed the world once. Perhaps we can do that again.
Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval. John 6:27
BYSTANDER | WEEK 3
Week 3: CARRY ON!
INTRODUCTION
Just outside of Jerusalem, Jesus performed a miracle that changed a man’s life forever.
For 38 years, this man was unable to walk.
But when Jesus said, “Get up,” the man was healed.
However, it’s what Jesus said next that made this miracle a clear sign of who Jesus really was.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
What is one law or cultural expectation you wish was different?
Can you remember a time when someone went against the rules or the norm so you could benefit? Explain.
Read John 5:1–21, where the apostle John recounts the story of Jesus healing a paralyzed man.
Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish festivals. 2 Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda[a] and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. 3 Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. [4] [b] 5 One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. 6 When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”
7 “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”
8 Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” 9 At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.
The day on which this took place was a Sabbath, 10 and so the Jewish leaders said to the man who had been healed, “It is the Sabbath; the law forbids you to carry your mat.”
11 But he replied, “The man who made me well said to me, ‘Pick up your mat and walk.’ ”
12 So they asked him, “Who is this fellow who told you to pick it up and walk?”
13 The man who was healed had no idea who it was, for Jesus had slipped away into the crowd that was there.
14 Later Jesus found him at the temple and said to him, “See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.” 15 The man went away and told the Jewish leaders that it was Jesus who had made him well.
16 So, because Jesus was doing these things on the Sabbath, the Jewish leaders began to persecute him. 17 In his defense Jesus said to them, “My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working.” 18 For this reason they tried all the more to kill him; not only was he breaking the Sabbath, but he was even calling God his own Father, making himself equal with God.
19 Jesus gave them this answer: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. 20 For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does. Yes, and he will show him even greater works than these, so that you will be amazed. 21 For just as the Father raises the dead and gives them life, even so the Son gives life to whom he is pleased to give it.
What are some details about this story that would lead a reader to believe this actually happened?
Before healing him, Jesus asked the man, “Do you want to get well?” Why do you think Jesus asked him that?
In verse 9, notice how quickly the author (John) pivots from the miraculous healing to the fact that this happened on the Sabbath. What does this say about the main reason John captured this story?
Verses 16–18 lay the groundwork for why religious leaders were at odds with Jesus. What do their comments tell you about their religious priorities?
Read John 5:39–40.
39 You study[a] the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, 40 yet you refuse to come to me to have life.
How you think the religious leaders may have felt hearing this?
3. Give an example of how your past version of Christianity got in the way of loving people God loves. Is your current version getting in the way?
4. Is there a step you can take to make a particular person a bigger priority than a potentially flawed belief or tradition? Can this group help?
CHANGING YOUR MIND
When your version of religion gets in the way of love, you have the wrong version. The person beside you must take priority over the potentially flawed religious view you have.
BYSTANDER | WEEK 2
WEEK 2: LIVING AS IF
In order to demonstrate who he was, Jesus performed a number of miracles, which the apostle John referred to as “signs.”
The first of those signs was at a joyous occasion where Jesus turned water into wine.
The second sign was in the midst of a heartbreaking circumstance in which a father desperately asked Jesus to heal his dying son.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Give an example of something you believe (or believed) based solely on what someone else told you about it.
Tragedy can often cause people (even those who claim to not believe in God) to look up—whether it’s questioning or shaking our fists.
Why do you think that is?
Read John 4:46–54, where the apostle John recounts the story of Jesus healing a government official’s son.
46 Once more he visited Cana in Galilee, where he had turned the water into wine. And there was a certain royal official whose son lay sick at Capernaum. 47 When this man heard that Jesus had arrived in Galilee from Judea, he went to him and begged him to come and heal his son, who was close to death. 48 “Unless you people see signs and wonders,” Jesus told him, “you will never believe.”
49 The royal official said, “Sir, come down before my child dies.” 50 “Go,” Jesus replied, “your son will live.” The man took Jesus at his word and departed. 51 While he was still on the way, his servants met him with the news that his boy was living. 52 When he inquired as to the time when his son got better, they said to him, “Yesterday, at one in the afternoon, the fever left him.” 53 Then the father realized that this was the exact time at which Jesus had said to him, “Your son will live.” So he and his whole household believed. 54 This was the second sign Jesus performed after coming from Judea to Galilee.
3. How familiar is this story to you?
Is there anything you just read that stands out as new information?
What are some details about this story that would lead a reader to believe this actually happened?
In verse 48, what seems to be Jesus’ main motivation for performing this miracle?
In verse 53, what type of emotion do you think the official had when he realized his son was being healed at the same time he had been talking to Jesus?
John tells us that the official and his entire household believed. How was this miracle not just a random act of kindness, but more of a strategic plan?
The official was desperate for Jesus to personally come to his son, but instead, he ended up going home without Jesus.
He didn’t know for sure his son was healed until he was told later.
In what ways do our lives mirror the wait that the leader had to endure until he got word his son was healed?
4. The testimony of others is what prompted the leader to seek Jesus for help. How might our testimonies cause people to seek Jesus?
CHANGING YOUR MIND
Jesus recognized there would be people who would believe in him who were not eyewitnesses to his miracles, and he looked into the future and called us blessed— in other words, happy, joyful, and peaceful.
Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed. John 20:29
BYSTANDER | WEEK 1
Week 1 : MOMMA SAYS
INTRODUCTION
Beginning with first-century followers of Jesus, trusting in Jesus has been a response to evidence—not simply a hope that something is true. The Gospel writer John referred to the miracles of Jesus as signs that gave evidence of who Jesus was. The first sign John documented was when Jesus—with a nudge from his mother—attended a wedding and turned water into wine.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
What is something you once believed without any evidence?
Why did you believe it?
How would you describe the difference between faith and belief?
The apostle John describes coming to faith as a process that starts with seeing actual events that serve as signs of who Jesus was.
Today, we can only hear or read about those events.
Should the fact that we are not eyewitnesses to Jesus’ miracles affect the process of someone coming to faith? Why or why not?
Read John 2:2–11
2 and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. 3 When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.”4 “Woman,[a] why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My hour has not yet come.”5 His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” 6 Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons.[b] 7 Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim. 8 Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.”They did so, 9 and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside 10 and said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.” 11 What Jesus did here in Cana of Galilee was the first of the signs through which he revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.
How familiar is this story to you?
Is there anything that stands out as new information?
What are some details about this story that would lead a reader to believe this actually happened?
In verse 9, how would you have reacted if you were “one of the servants” at the wedding and just witnessed what Jesus did?
In verse 10, consider the master of the banquet’s statement.
How might that be a foreshadowing of the coming shift from the sacrificial system to Jesus being the ultimate sacrifice?
What are some characteristics about Jesus that come to mind as a result of this story?
Does looking at this story as a “sign” instead of just a “miracle” change anything about your view of God?
How might it shape how you approach the miracles of Jesus?
CHANGING YOUR MIND
“The reason so many people are easily talked out of Christianity is because they were never talked into it in the first place.” —Frank Turek
The Greatness Code
The Greatness Code
Key Verse:
John 13:4-5
... so [Jesus] got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.
Jesus’ Seven Acts of Service
He saw to meet the need others ignored.
He got up.
He got ready.
He got down.
Start talking. Find a conversation starter for your group.
Share some of your favorite things—food, movies, restaurants, songs, books.
Start thinking. Ask a question to get your group thinking.
Which part of this message was most impactful for you and why? What do you want to learn more about?
Read Mark 10:43, 45.
“Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant … For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
How does Jesus’ definition of “greatness” compare to the world’s definition? What are some things the world values as special, important, or “great”?
Read John 13:1, 3-5
It was just before the Passover Festival. Jesus knew that the hour had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.
Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.
God doesn’t just care about what you do, but the way you do it. When you want to do the “right” thing, what do you think about before you act?
Start sharing. Choose a question to create openness.
Has there ever been a moment when you almost missed an opportunity to serve because of pride? What was the outcome of that experience?
What need is God calling you to meet right now? How can you take a step toward meeting that need this week?
Start praying. Be bold and pray with power.
Father, we’re grateful for Your endless love. We want to be known for the way we serve and love others. Please show us the needs around us, so we can work to meet those needs together. We’re ready to serve You and Your people. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Start doing. Commit to a step and live it out this week.
Ask God to show you one way to meet someone else’s need this week. Then, share about your experience with your LifeGroup.
Start the Bible Plan, The Good Work, using Plans With Friends: www.go2.lc/goodwork
Consider how you could love others by serving on the weekend or with a Local Mission Partner.
AVOIDING THE ELECTION INFECTION
AVOIDING THE ELECTION INFECTION
INTRODUCTION:
We aren’t just beginning a new year. We’re beginning an election year. Politics isn’t an emotionally neutral topic. It has the power to divide us instead of bringing us together. Politics can so color the way we see the world that we’re left wondering if someone could hold political beliefs different from our own and still follow Jesus. How would our outlooks change if we filtered our politics through our faith rather than filtering our faith through our politics?
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
Do politics play a role in your family’s mealtime conversations during Thanksgiving and Christmas?
If so, do you tend to join the debate or withdraw?
Why do you respond the way you do?
During the message, the Pastor said, “No matter where you stand politically, you can find something in the Bible to support your stand.”
Do you agree? Why or why not?
Think of a political belief you oppose so strongly that you can’t imagine how someone else could hold it.
What questions would you ask a person who holds that belief?
What value might there be in asking questions?
During the message, Pastor said, “Jesus followers should be the most confident, curious, composed, compassionate people in the room.”
How do you think a confident, curious, composed, and compassionate person would respond to people who disagree with him or her?
Talk about a time when you sacrificed influence with someone to make a point.
Did you change that person’s opinion?
Read Matthew 22:37–40
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
6. What is one practical step you can take this week to put people first and your politics second?
How can this group help you follow through?
MOVING FORWARD
Republican, Democrat, left or right, we’re all precious in his sight. This political season is an opportunity for us to highlight our political diversity in a way that honors the God who made us so diverse. If we get this right, we’ll learn something. We’ll become more generous and loving people. If we get it wrong, we’ll be an average church.
PAPER WALLS | WEEK 4
Week 4 Paper Walls
The Way Through
Read Ephesians 2:10
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
How does knowing you were created on purpose and with a purpose motivate you to break through your paper walls?
Let’s look at the five steps to punching through your paper walls.
What To Do With Your Excuses:
2. Identify them.
3. Interrogate them.
Why do I make that particular excuse?
What am I afraid of?
Who am I afraid of?
Am I just being lazy?
Am I just being selfish?
Am I just feeling insecure?
4. Re-label them.
That’s not a reason; that’s an excuse!
Ask, “What do I lose if I continue to excuse?”
5. Tell somebody.
Who can you tell?
6. Which of these steps seems most difficult and why?
7. To what area do you need to apply these five steps?
What has not admitting you’ve been hiding behind an excuse cost you so far?
What can you gain if you stopped doing that?
PAPER WALLS | WEEK 3
Week 3 Paper Walls
Free To See
If you won’t admit you’re wrong, you’ll be wrong your entire life.
Discussion Questions
1. Do you easily admit you’re wrong? If so, what makes you say that? Would the people closest to you say you readily admit it when you’re wrong?
2. Have you ever caught yourself lying to yourself? What enabled or forced you to see the lie for what it was?
3. Did either of your parents excuse a habit or character defect? If so, how did it impact the family dynamic?
4. Are you currently holding on to an excuse that is keeping you from one or more of these? If so, what’s the excuse?
• Having a necessary conversation with someone
• Showing someone kindness
• Finishing an important task
• Spending intentional time with a family member
5. Would you commit John 8:12 to memory?
“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
(John 8:12)
PAPER WALLS | WEEK 2
Week 2 Paper Walls
Not Buying It
It’s true that God loves you just the way you are, but he loves you too much to leave you that way.
Discussion Questions
What common excuses come to mind in these scenarios?
They could be excuses you’ve used or heard, or maybe you have some humorous excuses that would finish these sentences well.
I was running late because…
I didn’t do my homework because…
I would have applied for that job, but…
I meant to clean that, but…
I was going to say something in the meeting, but…
I don’t exercise much because…
My spouse and I haven’t done a date night in a while because…
Do you know anyone who excuses behaviors that hurt the people they claim to care most about?
When is the last time someone accused you of making excuses?
Your response?
Read Jesus’s parable Matthew 25:14–30
14 “Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to them. 15 To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag,[a] each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. 16 The man who had received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work and gained five bags more. 17 So also, the one with two bags of gold gained two more. 18 But the man who had received one bag went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.
19 “After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. 20 The man who had received five bags of gold brought the other five. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five bags of gold. See, I have gained five more.’
21 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
22 “The man with two bags of gold also came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two bags of gold; see, I have gained two more.’
23 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
24 “Then the man who had received one bag of gold came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25 So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’
26 “His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27 Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.
28 “‘So take the bag of gold from him and give it to the one who has ten bags. 29 For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. 30 And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’
Why would Jesus use such harsh consequences as the illustration for the third servant in verses 26–30.
Any paper walls come to mind during the message?
If so, what fear is at the root of that paper wall?
How would someone who truly loves you respond to your “reasons”?
PAPER WALLS | WEEK 1
Week 1 Paper Walls:
Because
Whether fueled by fear, insecurity, or a past event, many of us construct a paper wall of excuses that holds us back.
Discussion Questions
How would you characterize yourself in terms of overcoming obstacles?
Would you say you press through them?
Or do you procrastinate or run when obstacles come up?
In light of this message, do you feel most of those obstacles are reasons or excuses? Explain.
Have you ever exposed and discarded a personal excuse?
If so, what did that process entail?
During the message, were you reminded of something you tell yourself as a way of avoiding responsibility or opportunity?
Read Hebrews 12:1–2
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Are there excuses you’ve made that have kept you from living out your faith?
Are there excuses that have kept you from growing? If so, what are they?
Have you been lying to yourself?
Do you owe you an apology?
KNOWN FOR IT
Known for It
We all want to be known for something. What we really need is to be known by someone.
To Discuss
1. Give two things you want to be known for: one fun and one serious. When you consider your “serious”
one, who do you currently know that inspires you in that area?
2. Read Hebrews 10:23–25 aloud. In this passage, the author encourages Jesus followers to be involved
in each others’ lives. What stands out to you?
3. Read Galatians 6:1–3 aloud. In these verses, Paul is instructing Jesus followers on how to help
someone wrestling with sin. What stands out to you in this passage?
4. In what area are you pretending to have it together, especially around people of faith?
5. If you’re not in a group that meets regularly, what’s keeping you from joining one? If you are in a group,
what do you see as a next step in terms of letting the group know the real you?
6. While not everybody needs to know everything about you, what specifically can you do to be more
known by someone?
THE WEIGHT OF YOUR WORDS | WEEK 3
Week 3: Intent Doesn’t Remove the Dent
Even when our words are accidental, they can still hurt someone.
Discussion Questions
1. Can you remember a story (funny or otherwise) when you said one thing and meant something entirely different?
What happened?
2. Why do we rush to explain ourselves rather than simply owning our guilt? Explaining feels urgent and appropriate in
the moment. Why?
3. Read James 3:5–6.
Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
What stands out to you?
What are some ways our words compare to a fire?
4. Generally speaking, are you a fire container/explainer or an extinguisher? What makes you say that? Would those
closest to you, agree?
5. What can you do to remind yourself to opt for humility and sensitivity rather than an explanation next time you start
a word fire?
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to
their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
THE WEIGHT OF YOUR WORDS | WEEK 2
Week 2: Look Who’s Talking
The source of words determines their weight. Remember who you are and what you represent to the person on the
other side of you.
Discussion Questions
1. The relationship you have with them is not the same relationship they have with you. Who does that statement bring
to mind?
2. Good or bad, what has someone said to you that made an impact on your life? Do any of these remind you of words
that have been spoken to you?
• “You’re a really good parent.”
• “I’m so proud of you.”
• “You embarrassed me tonight.”
• “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
• “You’re not needed here anymore.”
3. In which environments or relationships do your words carry the most weight?
4. Read Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
What observations do you have about this passage?
5. Where do you need to begin throwing your weighty words around in order to encourage, inspire, and build?
Source determines weight. • Weight determines impact. • Impact determines outcome.
The Weight of Your Words | Week 1
Week 1: Way More
We’ve all heard the adage that actions speak louder than words. But the words we’ve heard have
shaped us, and the words we speak have the power to shape others. And some words weigh more
than others.
Discussion Questions
1. Whose words have shaped you the most? Why?
2. Which comes easier to you: criticism or encouragement? Does it depend on the relationship?
Why?
3. Read Ephesians 4:29.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building
others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
• What are your observations about this passage? What keywords stand out?
• What’s an example of helpful words?
• How can we evaluate our words in light of the recipient’s needs?
4. In the message, Pastor suggested that the ratio of our affirmation to our criticism influences how
even constructive criticism is received. How have you seen that play out in your relationships?
5. Where do you have work to do with your words? Who hopes you’ll get to work soon?
6. What is one step you can take to ensure that your words are helpful and beneficial?